Join Me Tonight!

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I’ll be on the radio tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern! Sheila Gale of The Sheila Show is interviewing international wealth coach and Money Goddess Morgana Rae. Some of you know that Morgana helped me change my relationship with my body…..and my finances improved! I’m providing a testimonial to demonstrate that Morgana’s process can jump-start rapid change in your life. Morgana will take you through her six steps to transform your relationship with money and, as she says, “make money fall in love with you.” The call is FREE and will be a lot of fun, not to mention educational and potentially life-changing! I hope you can join me. Register to listen here.

Six Easy Ways to Decrease Water Retention

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Who likes that bloated, icky feeling? Yuck! Your clothes don’t fit and you feel sluggish. Try one or all of the suggestions below. Most can be done with things you probably already have at your house.

Sip hot water throughout the day.

A thermos works well. If that doesn’t fit into your life, drink a mug of hot water every two or three hours. Just plain hot water, not tea or coffee. The hot water allows your cells to gently and easily release excess fluids and toxins without having to first digest whatever you added to the water, so it’s less stressful on your body. Try it for 10 days. If you find yourself craving hot water after doing this for a few days, you might be dehydrated. Increase your overall water intake.

Make fennel tea.

If you just can’t handle plain hot water, fennel contains gentle diuretic properties and has a licorice-ish flavor. Drink fennel tea. I prefer to make my own: put one teaspoon of fennel seeds (from the spice section of the grocery store) in a sandwich bag and crush with a rolling pin. Put the crushed seeds in a tea ball or bag. Heat your water and steep the crushed seeds to your taste. You can buy fennel tea, too, but I like to make my own.

Increase your activity.

Move around more. Get some exercise. Whatever your current activity level is, increase it slightly. This could mean walking in the evening, going to weekly yoga class, running, swimming, or anything else that works for you. It doesn’t have to be a regimented, high-intensity workout, although it can be if you like. Just move more!

Increase water, decrease caffeine.

Drink more water and fewer other liquids. Coffee, non-herbal tea (including green tea), most energy drinks, and soda contain caffeine, which is a diuretic. Consuming large amounts of caffeine over time causes dehydration; it signals your body to retain the fluids it does have and when you do eat or drink anything containing water, she retains that too. Sort of like preparing for a “water famine.” Over time, drinking more water and decreasing caffeine lets your body know the water famine has ended and she can release the water she’s holding. It also helps flush your body of toxins and increases your natural energy.

Eat more whole foods and fewer processed foods.

Eat more whole foods and fewer processed foods, particularly if they contain preservatives, high fructose corn syrup, trans fats (partially hydrogenated oils), artificial colors or flavors, or ingredients you can’t identify or pronounce. It’s easier for your body to digest whole foods. She may not know what to do with the others and store them in your cells to process “later,” when you resume eating whole foods as the majority of your diet. But for many people, the “later” never comes, so she keeps storing toxins in your cells, resulting in bloating and weight gain. Weight gain from processed foods (and other causes) will be another article all together, but eating processed foods also contributes to bloating. Eating more whole foods can help decrease it.

What are you afraid of?

Water retention may be a sign that you are protecting or padding yourself. Do you feel unsafe in your body or your life? Why? What do you need to do to feel safe? What does your body need from you to feel safe? What can you do so you and your body feel safe and you can release your fear and also the water? Fear, anxiety, and insecurity often manifest as body armor in the form of water retention or weight gain.  If you have chronic water retention or want to lose weight and can’t, this is very important. You must first release the energy stored in your body as scary, negative emotion. Then, when you don’t need the protection anymore and you and your body feel safe and secure, your body will release the water (or weight…..stay tuned for that article). Identifying, examining, and releasing these emotions are what clients do when they work with me.

Let me know how it goes. Try one (or all) of these – whichever feels right for you and your body. Check in daily with your body. Keep a journal. What changed? How do you feel?  What worked best for you? Feel free to share on my blog or email me.

Does your body trust you?

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Does your body trust you?

Does your relationship with your body feel safe and secure? If you feel like you’re settling for what you can get, just grateful for what you have, or that’s just the way things are, it’s not.  

Examples:

You’re glad your cold finally cleared up, but it’s November and you’re worried about how bad flu season will be for you.

You finally lost those last five pounds, but you’re afraid you’ll gain it all back (plus more) during the holidays.

You’ve been able to let go of controlling what you eat and how much you work out. You have a social life again, but you’re afraid something in your world will get uncomfortable or out of whack and you’ll need your routines to get your life back in control.

You got a new cut and color that you love. You felt pretty and confident for a few days but are sliding down again.

Sound familiar?

You’re so glad you finally made some progress. It was hard or it took a lot of time, effort, money, and/or deprivation on your part.

Then something in your life goes out of whack and your progress goes away.

It’s frustrating, demoralizing, and depressing. And if it happens over and over again, you’ll think this is the best your life will ever get. One tiny step forward and a big leap back.

I’m very happy to say that’s not true!  Your life CAN get a LOT better. You CAN be healthy, lose weight, love your appearance, think about something other than food and what you will eat next, and have a social life. But first you need to re-evaluate your relationship with your body.

Making progress and fearing continued progress and SUCCESS means you don’t yet TRUST that your body is there to support you in your life. And your body doesn’t yet trust you to take care of her and keep her healthy and safe.

Trust goes both ways. So if you are stuck in this cycle, you aren’t communicating clearly with your body. You’re on different radio frequencies.

This means it’s time to go deeper into your relationship with your body, find out what both YOU and SHE want and need to feel safe and secure and to trust each other to care for and nurture one another. Which is what we do in Naked Body Confidence Body Relationship Coaching.

 

 

Why have you given up?

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What have you always wanted to do but believe you can’t? Why can’t you? What is standing in your way? And how can you remove those obstacles? Sometimes they seem insurmountable, but they are not.

 Consider the following…..

 Many of you know that since I was 10 years old, I wanted to be a pilot in the Air Force. To do this, I attended the Air Force Academy but soon left because after a few months and despite eating extra food, I weighed 98 pounds (I am 5 feet, 9.5 inches tall). Leaving was heartbreaking because I felt I was giving up my dream, wasting all the effort I put into getting in to the Air Force Academy, and had no other plans for the future. At the time, I felt I was left with nothing, but out of that came my ability to heal a 12-year eating disorder, help women develop nurturing and supportive relationships with their bodies, and live lives of ease, synchronicity, and health (read my story).

 Still, every time I went to an air show or saw military jets fly overhead, part of me still wanted to be up there with them. I often thought maybe I would get a private pilot’s license, but that seemed so uninspiring and purposeless after wanting to fly upside-down and sideways all over the sky.  How could learning to fly be exciting for me again as a civilian?

 Then I went to an air show this weekend. One of the performers was Patty Wagstaff. She competes in international aerobatic competitions internationally, is in numerous Halls of Fame, is honored by the U.S. Air Force and NASA for her contributions to flight, appears in Microsoft Flight Simulator, in a test pilot and stunt woman, and flies in support of wildland firefighters. And she was on the US Aerobatic Team only five years after earning her private pilot’s license (the first step to learning to fly).

 Seeing her perform and reading about her was a HUGE eye-opener for me. There is no reason why I still can’t fly. It can be fun. I can serve a purpose. And I can do it without being in the military.

 So what do YOU want to do? And what’s holding you back? Here’s an exercise to help:

 1. Identify a goal you want to achieve that you feel you can’t (ex. be an Air Force pilot).

2. Identify the essence of the goal (a feeling you want to have, the end result you want to accomplish; ex. Have fun and help others by flying)

3. Reflect on ways to accomplish the essence. They may come to you when you least expect it.

 You may want to answer these questions in a journal and then put it away and observe what manifests in the next few days, weeks, and months. Post on my blog what happened for you.

Get Written Feedback from Your Body – Literally

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Communication is the key in any relationship, including the very important one you have with your body. But how do you know what your body wants and needs? What’s wrong? Why it hurts? What she likes?

Sometimes it may feel like you don’t even speak the same language. Imagine trying to order dinner at a restaurant in Russia; the menu is in Russian, the servers speak only Russian, and you don’t do either. How do you find out about the daily specials, place your order, and pay? That’s a problem!

There is a very easy solution to this problem. It’s what I do when I need quick and clear answers to help my body.

You have a written conversation with your body. 

 Here’s how:

 1. With your dominant hand, introduce yourself and tell your body you’d love to talk with her for a while. Tell her you want to get to know her better so you can provide what she needs.

 Here’s an example intro:  Hello, I’m *your name here.*  I know I haven’t communicated with you very well and I’d like to change that. I want you to be happy and healthy and for you to trust me to tell you what you need.

Then ask your first question. It could be general (What do you need from me to feel better?), specific (Why do I get a cold every November?), directed towards a specific part of your body (Stomach, I sense digestion hasn’t been going well. Why is that?), or investigating a positive aspect of your body (Why do you like having long hair? Why do you appreciate your eyes so much?).

 2. With your non-dominant hand, allow your body to answer the question. Step out of your logical mind and let the words come. Release the need to edit as you write, pay attention to what you are writing, or judge what you write as logical, making sense, or otherwise acceptable to you. Release criticism about word choice, grammar, punctuation, legibility, the awkwardness of writing with your other hand, and anything else you associate with “proper” writing. This step is deceptive in its simplicity; all you do is get out of the way of your body’s way and let the words flow from your hand onto the paper.

 3. Continue the conversation based on what your body communicated through your non-dominant hand or ask another question.

 4. When you are finished “talking,” thank your body for sharing her insights and feelings with your dominant hand. Let her know you love her (if you do) and want to help her be healthy. Identify ways you will support her in her health, but only promise to do them if you intend to follow through.

 5. Read through your conversation. What did you learn? What action steps will you take?

It is SUPER IMPORTANT that everything you communicate is authentic and you follow through on any promises you make. That’s how she’ll learn to trust you and work with you. That’s how you show her you love her and want a relationship in which you support each other throughout your life.

 You may uncover old hurts you forgot about. You may argue with her. She may surprise you with her love and wisdom. She may use the language of a toddler. If you talk with specific body parts, what knowledge do they have to share? How do they feel? What do they need from you to feel better? Talk with parts of your body that hurt frequently or are sick and parts that always feel really well and work perfectly. Find out why they feel that way. How can you help all of them feel better? What does your body need to eat to be healthy? What kind of exercise does she like? Why does she crave sugar? Why does she like bicycling? Why does she wake up every night at 2:42 a.m.? The conversation is limitless.

You can also ask your body to draw how she feels with her non-dominant hand. Use crayons and markers to add color. Release judgment on the quality of your drawing.

Make sure you have plenty of paper handy.  After I finished doing this for the first time, I discovered two hours passed and I filled seven pages, front and back, with conversation!

Interview Last Weekend

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Morgana interviewing me at her Money Goddess Experience Live Event last weekend

Last weekend I participated in and spoke at international wealth coach Morgana Rae’s Money Goddess Experience event. For two days, I was with about 30 of the most empowered women I’ve ever met. Animal communicators, substance abuse counselors, jewelry designers, energy healers, documentary producers, actors, social media experts, psychologists, personal stylists, life coaches, and occupational therapists were among the talents there.

 But the important thing isn’t their jobs. It’s that they each lived authentically, sharing their gifts.

Do you live in integrity with your values and your true self? If you don’t, over time it will chip away at your self-esteem and self-worth.  You may become angry, frustrated, resentful, or resigned.  All of this may show up in your life as pent-up emotions and physical ailments like stress, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, joint pain, headaches, and weakened immune system, among others.

 And it’s no wonder! You don’t have to compromise yourself and your integrity while living your life.

Coaching can help you find solutions to this situation that work for YOU and YOUR LIFE. This is NOT “one size fits all.” I help you develop your relationship with your body (Naked Body Confidence coaching) and in November I will open my six-month nutrition coaching program.

The BEST part of my job is creating a safe space for my clients to examine and let go of their fears. Many women are afraid to look too closely at themselves for fear of what they will find and how they will be able to live with themselves afterward; all the emotional baggage is packed up sort of safely and unpacking it may reveal more than they think they can handle.

I can do this work because I’ve been to that scary, looking-at-yourself-honestly place and come out the other side. I’m with you the WHOLE WAY, especially in the terrifying self-examination where you dig really, really deep to discover how you feel about your body and why, physically feel it and see it and experience it, and finally let it go.

I’ve already been there, done that. I know the way and don’t even need a map to find the exit. I can support you in making it safe for you too. I promise.

 So identify the most common derogatory thing you say to yourself. Find a few others if you have them. How would your life be different if these were gone? How would you feel? Act? Dress? How much do you want this freedom? What do you need to do to have it?

Reader Question: Eating Disorders and Body Image

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A reader asked a GREAT question yesterday: How are eating disorders and body image related?

For anyone who doesn’t know, I had eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, and the “non-specified” type that is an unhealthy relationship with food but isn’t anorexic or bulimic) for 12 years.

Viewing my body as a supporter and co-creator of my life rather than a tool that needed to be controlled with food and exercise, look and act a certain way, and have specific measurements so I could have value and be acceptable to society was the ONLY WAY for me to be totally healed from disordered eating.  

It is why I now coach women in their relationships with their bodies. I am passionate about helping women develop nurturing relationships with their bodies because that’s where the magic is; it’s the portal to manifesting the change you want in your body and your life with finesse, ease, and grace rather than brute force and control. There is such freedom in knowing your body is cheering you on and supporting you in your life.

So eating disorders and body image are most definitely related. By digging deep, discovering the root causes of how we treat our bodies (including how and why we eat in unhealthy ways), and releasing them, we can very often also obliterate the need for disordered eating. There is such freedom in that! Do you starve yourself, binge and purge, always think about food, decline social events that involve eating, and sneakily eat by yourself so no one sees you consuming large amounts of “bad” food? What would your life be like if you no longer did this?

Upcoming Interview

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Today I’m flying out to Los Angeles to participate in internationally acclaimed wealth coach Morgana Rae’s Money Goddess Experience Live Event happening this weekend. I’m so excited…..are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Anyway, Morgana helped me change my relationship with money AND with my body (’cause my  money and body relationships were really, really closely related). That’s where Naked Body Confidence came from. I knew if I had this problem, many other women did, too.  YOU DESERVE a supporting, loving, and appreciative relationship with your body. Your life gets so much easier in ways you can’t imagine when you do! Think about it: your body goes with you everywhere and experiences everything you do. Wouldn’t you be more confident and joyful if you knew she supported you throughout your life? You would never be alone and always have someone on your side to rely on and watch your back.

So the point of all this is that Morgana is interviewing me this weekend at the event as an example of how radically your life changes when you shift your relationship with your body.  Women from all over the world are coming! Go here to check it out:  www.moneygoddessexperience.com. 

This is a really great opportunity to dramatically change your relationships with your body and money.  Morgana is offering virtual and recorded options if coming to LA this weekend doesn’t work for you (yes, I know it starts tomorrow). Enrollment details are here.  If you haven’t done anything else, want dramatic change, and don’t know where to start, start here! Do this for yourself. Both your body and money permanent fixtures in your life, and your life is soooo serendipitous if you have loving and supportive relationships with them.

Why are you apologizing?

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Consider the following situation:

This morning in the gym locker room a woman was standing in front of my locker. I was about ask if she could slide to side a bit so I could access it. Before I got the words out, she said, “Sorry.” I wanted to ask why she was apologizing….for being in existence? Taking her daughter to the gym to get some exercise and spend time together? Blocking someone’s locker despite the fact that the lockers are so close together, she’d be in front of more than one regardless of where she stood in the locker room?

How often do you say “Sorry” as an almost-automatic response to someone? When and why? Is an apology really what you intend to communicate? If not, what other words can you use to communicate your true message?

Here’s an example from my life:

I have two master’s degrees, managed multimillion dollar projects with international scope and impact, and published research papers. Several acquaintances told me to my face they thought I was a bookworm who couldn’t function outside the ivory tower in the “real world.” After hearing that a few times, I NEVER wanted to talk about my life, work, or school accomplishments with family and friends.

THEN I realized what rich life experiences I had in academia. Through the university, I:

Met many interesting and influential people: Janet Napolitano, Rudy Guiliani, Arlen Specter, Tim Holden, Rick Santorum, General Russell Honore, the Commissioner of every major professional sports league in the US, numerous Olympic athletes and world record holders, and people who lived in third-world countries or in conditions much different than mine.

Visited diverse places: Mississippi Gulf Coast and New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina (Actually, I lived there!), Oak Ridge National Lab (home of the world’s fastest supercomputer), Stennis Space Center (where rocket engines are test-fired), Pearl Harbor, most of Spain and southern England, and numerous cities across the US.

Lived in the northeast, southeast, and western US.

Received the catalyst to heal, change my life, find my purpose, and develop my coaching practice.

And as a bonus, if I feel so inclined, I can teach classes, coach, or write a book on “How to Choose Your Graduate Field of Study, Get Accepted into Graduate School, and Go to School Absolutely FREE.”

So now I say, h3!! yeah, I have two master’s degrees!

It is time to love, appreciate, celebrate, embrace, and value what makes us unique. Not what other people think we should say, be, do, or have. And that includes our VERY individual bodies and all their characteristics.

 

Your Body and Money: Two Essential Relationships in Your Life

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Internationally acclaimed wealth coach Morgana Rae interviewed me as a preview to her revolutionary and empowering “Money Goddess Experience” live event October 15 and 16 in Los Angeles. Check out the video:

 http://www.abundanceandprosperity.com/money-goddess/money-goddess-video-aphrodite-womans-money-magnetism/

I ask you the same question she presented:  Have you noticed a connection between your relationship with your body and how you feel about money? Let me know!